To Have And To Hold

“...to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.”

I’m always touched by the moment when the bride and groom exchanged their wedding vows; I always get very emotional and my eyes will be filled with tears of joy. when two souls meet and fall in love, to be there for each other always, to share each other’s life, it’s just so beautiful...

an old pal of mine got married last saturday. he is one of the longest friend I had, we used to chat on the phone til late, we shared everything with one another. we are the best of friends. I’m really happy for him that he finally tied the knot with his long time girlfriend.

on 15 december 2007, another friend of mine is getting married too. this time, among the tears of joy, there will also be a few drops of regret and sadness...

Sunrise, Sunset

sunrise

every morning on my way to work, through the big wide window panes of the mrt, the sun rises bright orange from afar. i closed my eyes, and for a brief moment, i feel myself in the mountains, catching the spectacular sunrise...

like riding a bicycle, you peddle hard to gain enough speed to enjoy a few seconds of cruising, relax & feel the wind on your face, before you've got to start peddling hard again...

sunset

it's the third evening in a row that i've watched the beautiful sunset from my work station.

for a few minutes or so, all the tiredness and frustrations from the day's work magically dissolved; all that is left is the golden glow and warmth from the setting sun's rays that transforms into a gentle smile across my face...

lovely is the sunset... even more charming it will be, if only it's by the sea or up in the mountains...

Wet, Wet, WET!!!

B2W - 4

it's my 4th attempt biking to work, 1st using a road bike. the previous attempts were on my good old trusted KHS.

distance: 28.15 km
max speed: 36.5 km/h
average speed: 25.8 km/h
time taken: 1.05.20 hrs

i wasn't going fast at all, neither was i pushing hard. in fact, the initial 10km was tough, my legs were pumped. going further west, head winds were strong and peddling furious could only get me going at 25km/h... at some places, i was even blown slightly off course...

WET, WET, WET

this is probably the heaviest rain i've cycle in after osim.many people were concerned. "were you caught in the rain?", "what did you do when it rained?", "you've got a raincoat?" my reply seemed to surprise them. "just continue to cycle" i said.

what is the reason stopping people from going out in the rain? safety is definitely one good reason but probably also the last of concerns on people's mind. so why don't people like to get wet?

there are plenty of water sports abound, so it cant be the the state of being wet. we often see children playing happily in the outdoor fountains, having a splashing good time with the water. how often do we see adults doing that?

or is it having to get out of one's comfort zone? especially when it's cold and wet outside, it always feels nice and comfortable to be snugging under the cosy blankets or sipping a hot cup of tea or coffee. who will like to go out in the rain?

or perhaps it's the state of mind. frankly, i don't like to be wet, partially wet to be exact. i don't lke to be wet when i'm supposed to be dry. so part of me will be resisting the wetness and that creates an uncomfortable and miserable feeling. however, it's a different story altogether to be thoroughly wet. you can't get any wetter, so you are able to let go and enjoy being wet and appreciate being wet.

probably also because i know that a nice hot shower and hot milo will be waiting for me...

CYCLING

cycling can be quite a solitary thingy, especially in the rain. it's just you, the road and the raindrops. it's a good time for reflections too. somehow, i enjoy cycling in the rain. i like the feel of raindrops on my face, so cool and refreshing. i like to see the fall of the water from out of the sky, they looked especially pretty against the glow of the lights. sometimes, the cold can also freezes your mind and help to crystallize out your thoughts.

perhaps i needed to clear my mind. perhaps i needed to be alone...

it's always nice to meet fellow cyclists when you are going solo. for the first time, i met two other roadies on their way to work. one said "hi" before he overtook me and turned off into pioneer road. his sling bag strapped across his back looked waterproof. the other was from a competitor's company along the coast and had a puncture earlier. he just got back into cycling after his baby's birth.

on a heavy rainy morning, i thought i was the only one crazy one...

PS.SGV5339S

haha.. tha's the number plate of the car that "stalked" me in tuas. a champagne coloured toyota. he was stopped in the middle of left lane with his hazards lights on. i thought it might be a concerned colleague waiting to ask me if i needed a lift. i cycled past him and nope, not a familiar face. i cycled on and shortly after, he appeared again and followed me all the way. managed to shake him off at the junction turning into my company.

interesting things always happen when i cycle... :)

To Be Or Not Meant To Be?

history repeated...

date: sunday, 23-sep-07
event: asia’s first ladies triathlon
venue: east coast park
disciplines: swim 1.5km, bike 40km, run 10km

it was all bright and sunny on our way to east coast park. we were still happily chatting and commenting that it's perfect weather for the tri... who would have guessed, that in a few moments later, dark clouds will move in swiftly and before we know it, the sky was already an angry overcast...

-- thunderstorm brewing


not long after our wave started, I felt splashes of water hitting my face as I surfaced to breathe. RAIN. as a result, the swim leg was reduced to 1 loop and officials waved us on to proceed with the biking leg. disappointingly, only after completing 1 out of 4 loops of the biking leg, the whole race had to be cancelled as the national environmental agency has issued the "category 1" status...

-- biking out in the rain

it happened again. the fate of osim triathlon was repeated at the ladies triathlon. my friends joked that perhaps it's a sign that i'm not meant to take part in triathlon...

was it really not meant to be?


climb every mountain

very often in life, we are met with challenges, mountains we had to climb. i read this article the other day and thought it's very meaningful. here's an excerpt:

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"the phrase 'climb every mountain ' encourages people to confront their challenges instead of shying away from them.

while there are lessons to be learned from exposure to a variety of experiences, people lead such busy lives that they need to be able to differentiate between the challenges that are worth confronting and those that can be safely side-stepped in favour of more meaningful pursuits or for peace of mind.

climb the mountains that deliver the best reward for you. only you will know what each challenge represents in terms of rewards (such as more money or recognition) or consequences (such as a stressful lifestyle or poor relationship).

single out challenges with rewards that are worth striving for and bring lasting satisfaction or fulfilment. consider what you will gain and when -- think short-term, mid-term and long term -- and what you will be giving up in those time frames to achieve your goals.

make mountain-climbing memorable, focusing on the quality of the journey rather than the destination. make it a journey that will bring a smile to your face whenever you think about it in the future."

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how true... very often, people get caught in the web of "take it as a challenge" and climb any mountain that was presented to them as a challenge. however, after they had conquered the mountain, instead of satisfaction and fulfilment, there's only weariness. they may not be happy. they may have suffered much. they may have even lost a limb or two in the quest...

friends asked me if i will take part in another triathlon again since twice the races was cut prematurely. well, it depends, i tell them. triathlon is not a mountain i wanted to climb dearly. if the conditions are suitable, i may attempt another summit. :)

anyway, completing the triathlon is one thing. the journey getting there is equally important, so even with the race cut off, we still had a good time!

-- the happy tri ladies

-- will there be a 3rd "first time"?

to be or not meant to be? the choice is yours to decide, to climb or not to climb the mountain. :)

Rush Hour

8.24am. The train pulled into the platform. “2 minutes” flashed on the big LCD screen above head. That’s the ETA of the next train heading east. I’m going to my vendor’s office in town this morning.

Cabins after cabins, people of all kinds stand shoulder to shoulder. While there were ample standing space in the centre of the cabins, the areas near the doorways were packed like sardines, some parts of the body had to be pressed against the train’s doors, usually hands.

As soon as the train doors opened, those inside tried their best to get out and those outside were squeezing their way in to secure a spot in the train. All these happens, while the red light flashes and chimes going off, signalling closing of the train doors soon, adding pressure to the folks, both inside and outside.

They were mostly office workers. All dressed up for work, guys in well-pressed shirts and pants, a few with ties, either carrying a haversack or laptop in hand; ladies were in pretty blouses and skirts, dresses long and short, power shirt and pant suits... It’s like a looking through a women’s fashion magazine, live...

Of course, there are also folks, like myself, in jeans and a simple top, artsy fartsy students dressed to make a statement, workers of the industries in well-worn clothes and not forgetting the “aunties” among others...

It’s said that it’s easier to put on a smile as it takes alot more muscles to put on a stern face. Were people having their morning facial workout? ‘cos almost everyone had “solemn” written all over their face. Few were talking. Some were sleeping. Many had music plugged into their ears. Others were playing with their techy mobile phones, or simply admiring the gas molecules in the atmosphere.

For once, I am glad I worked in the furthest end of our little garden city. Though trains going west from my place are still quite full, but there are more than enough personal space for each passenger. However, the long journeys to Tuas had slowly taken a toll on me after all these years, 5 years and 7.5 months, to be exact. Everyday, I have to to be up by 6.15am, so that I can catch the company's transport and get to work by 8.00am. Meeting my friends after work always have to be after 7pm, even though I knock off at 5.30pm. In contrast, when I'm at my vendor’s office in town, I can leave at 6.30pm, go home, change and still be in time for my training at 7.15pm.

Food is another factor. Working in town area means one is spoilt for choice when it comes to food. One can even pop by the library, run some errands or even do a little shopping during lunch hour. In our little republic at the west end of Singapore, we eat at the same cafeteria, served the same food by the same caterer, everyday. Once in a while, we car pool and go to a nearby coffee shop for lunch. On really special occasions, like celebrating a colleague’s birthday, welcome a new colleague or farewell for an old colleague, we go to Raffles Marina, the only “high class” place in the vicinity.

At my vendor's office on the 34th storey, I have a splendid view of the coastline on one side and the magnificant skyline of our tiny island on the other side. I always like to imagine I'm out there; the smell of the sea, looking at the waters and listening to the sound of the waves, always calms me down. On the other hand, being close to nature, out in the wild, excites me and makes me feel alive... Being in touch with people, contributing a little part to their lives, gives me a sense of satisfaction.

I am feeling unrest again... Perhaps it’s time to move on? Where should I go?

At Raffles Place Station, the train is half empty. Suddenly, I can see that it's a new train that I'm in. As I looked at the office folks trotting away in their smart office wear, click-clocking of fast-paced footsteps, as much as the working in town has many attractive advantages, I know this is not where I want to be...

Tomorrow, I’ll be back again in Tuas. Back to the days of getting up before daylight, and reaching home after sunset... Is this where I want to be...?

“Bugis.”

Unknowingly, I’ve reached my station. As the train doors opened, I walked out of the cabin and joined the ranks of the office workers. Today, I am one of them.

It’s the rush hour of the morning...

The Day It Rained Inside...

Date: 10-Sep-07, Monday
Weather: Heavy Showers

I drove to work this day.

Along AYE, heading towards Tuas, I felt the sun's rays. I looked into my rear view mirror, there it is, waking up to a brand new morn, shining ever brightly. :)

I turned my attention back to the road ahead. The horizon is cold and grey. Thick dark clouds await. Leaving behind the sunny clear blue sky, I drove right into the darkness and shortly after, my wipers were working furiously to give me a spot of visibility.

What a start to a Monday...

Perhaps I was a little affected by the wet morning. Perhaps it's a sign?

My boss called me into his office. This is our 2nd closed-door session over the PM. It was because of two email replies that I sent to the PM earlier. He said he was not comfortable with my approach and the way I wrote the emails. He felt it was too aggressive and confrontational. Even though he agreed that it's the PM who is being difficult, putting road blocks wherever I go and whatever I do, he still wanted me to go do some damage control and talk things out with him.


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Case #1

One of my document, V, has been in draft for the longest time because it is linked to another document, R, and that has to be approved before V can be approved. I had revised and fine-tuned V many times and checked against the final version of R to ensure there's no discrepancy. Finally R was approved and so I routed V for approval.

The next thing I know, the PM wrote me an email and cc the other managers saying that V needs to be withdrawn because there were "some last minute mods" to R and "needs to be corrected in V." Period.

Questions and questions in my mind. How could there be last minute mods when R was already approved? Even if there are, its uinlikely that the mods will affect V as V is a general and high level document. So I replied him, asking him what the last minute mods were and what needs to be corrected in V.

Perhaps I should write a little more in my email so it will sound more rounded and wouldn't appear so aggressive. Perhaps I should give him a call instead to clarify as recommended by my boss.

Perhaps he could also read V and assess the impact before he instruct to withdraw it?

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Case #2

Instead of having everyone in the same room to go through four Yes/No questions for probably hundreds of components, colleague E and I took the initiative to conduct the assessment for all the new components. It took us a few days for the assessment and another couple for the compilation of results. This is so that we can free up the rest of the team and also reduce non-value work.

We sent out the completed assessment for review. The plan is that we'll consolidate all comments and the team will then gather to review only the ambiguous components. This reduces alot of time and efforts for everyone.

The PM sent me an email saying, "It seems like you have done a good job on this." So was it a good job? Or was it not?? However, it definitely seems like he's not too satisfied.

He then suggested to do the assessment over 10 one-hour sessions with everyone together. Why does he want to do that? After all our efforts, he wanted to do everything all over again? I could not comprehend. So I wrote him a email to explain our intention and the benefits.

Perhaps I shouldn't have injected the pinch of sarcasm and sprinkle with lots of humour instead. Perhaps I should call him like what my boss had said.

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Perhaps I should not be too personal about my work. Like what my colleagues told me, I'm just drawing a salary...

This day, it also rained inside...

Min Min the Gongfu Master

CM once said that it is a great skill to stand and sleep at the same time. this is the story of a great gongfu master who can eat, sleep and find "inspiration" at the same time...

it tells of the beginnings of the gongfu master, the training ground and the disciples. this gongfu master is a SHE... and is none other than my baby niece. :)


the beginnings

23-Jul-2007 marks the birth of our little angel.

this darling of ours is as quiet as the stars in the night. she will call out to you only when your attention is needed, just once. at other times, you can go about doing your things without worries.

she has the sweetest smile to melt anyone's heart away... there she is, practising new moves already at week 2-3.

all dressed up for her big day - 1st month celebration!

the training ground

she spends most of her time in her secret chamber. when the day is good, she likes to go into the forest, to be among the monkeys, giraffes, birds and butterflies. ooooh, she loves especially the sounds of the forest...

the disciples

ever since the gongfu master arrived, she has taken in many disciples and coached them well. this has enabled them to take care of her and thus she is able to carry out her trainings with peace of mind...

her name is miang yee. we all call her min min. :)

Army Half Marathon

event: singapore bay run (ahm)
distance: 21 km
time: 1 hr 47 min

route: esplanade bridge - cross street - south bridge road - maxwell road - east coast parkway -fort road - east coast park (u-turn) - fort road - mountbatten road - nicoll highway - republic avenue - ndp floating platform


first times...

i clocked my personal best timing for half marathon in this run. adding to the sweetness of the achievement, i came in 10th position in the women's open category! now that was a total surprise... my first time ever, to get a prize for big runs like this. the last time i won any placing in a run was during my secondary school time! haha..

i achieved another "personal best" earlier in the morning - 15mins from out of bed to out of house! supposed to meet IN and HS at 4.15am and i even reminded HS not to be late. had alarms set at 3.15am, 3.30am, 3.45am and a snooze alarm at 3.30am. i slept through all of them!!! it's 4am when i jumped out of bed. my race had already started.. :P


feedback...

the route this year is much well planned than last year. we cleared the city areas early in the run, avoiding interruptions like last year where runners had to be held at traffic junctions. the organizers learnt their lesson. runners don't like to be stopped!


focus...

the u-turn point is at east coast park again. but this time, it is much further into the park than previously and it seems like we were never gonna reach the u-turn point. even after running 2 km along the park, the elite runners has not turned back...

it is also along this stretch that fatigue set in. the mind gets tired, the strides get smaller, the breathing gets faster and heavier... i pop a gel at 9km and it took another km to kick in. i looked ahead at the road and concentrated on regulating my breathing and my strides. 2/4 rhythm, low cadence, long strides, breathe...

IN once said that my pace is hard to follow. unlike HH's small and fast step or SL's normal steps, mine appeared as though i'm running slowly but my steps are big. steadily, i overtook many others along the way. focusing on my running, not the race, i conquered the stretch of east coast park and the rest of the route.


finish lines...

250 m and the finish line is in sight. i get ready for the final burst. opened up my strides, increased my cadence, and started to sprint towards the finish line... suddenly there were barriers ahead and marshalls waved us on to turn left... there's another finish line?!?! we followed the left turn and made another right turn, now there is our finish line 50 m ahead.

this is it... :)

Bike to Work

i biked to work for the 3rd time.

i'm on my own today. JL is down... think our last ride to work wore him out.

a very light drizzle at dawn sent me on my way. under the warm glow of the street lights, the morning air bursts into a misty sight. as tiny droplets of water fell on my face, in my heart i said a little prayer. i looked up into the sky. please hold up...

it seems a good day for biking to work. buses waved me on, the air along exxonmobile didn't smell as polluted and even the traffic heavy pioneer road was flowing light. one can feel the peace of the morning in the busy of the rush hour...

start / end:blk 53 lengkok bahru / 31 tuas south ave 6
distance clocked: 29.23 km
time taken:1:04:47
average speed: 27.1 km/h
max speed: 41.7 km/h

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8.30pm. i sent out the last email and finally packed up. what a long day...

the moment i turned out of pfizer, the night sky momentarily showed up bright orange behind the thick linings of dark clouds. i couldn't see the road ahead clearly. from afar, i hear a familiar pattering sound. i realized i'm going to ride into the rain...

a foriegn worker pulled up behind me at a junction along pioneer road. on his 1-speed bike, he pedals effortlessly and overtook me, as i cruise along at 24km/h. approaching the next junction, a big container truck screams loudly at us from behind. it cuts two lanes fiercely into our lane and came so close that our friend had to stop by the kerb to prevent being squashed by the truck. i was lucky to have a little more space and managed to balance myself between the kerb and the container. to our disbelief, the truck, after brushing by us, cuts back immediately to the second lane.

trucks, cars, scooters... they seemed to be in some kind of rush tonight. were they late for an appointment? or was it that they can't wait to get home? or simply because they like to drive fast?

i decided that i shall give way and keep my distance from the trucks for tonight. :)

start / end: 31 tuas south ave 6 / blk 53 lengkok bahru
distance clocked: 29.22 km
time taken:1:15:32
average speed: 23.2 km/h
max speed: 32.9 km/h

Thinking of You...

Wishing you an exciting and beautiful day,
with blue skies, interesting finds and everything nice.
When you get to see this little message,
know that someone's thinking of you,
from an isle not so far away...